This post title was brought on by a fellow PCOS blogger bud's recent post... it's true, too. Maybe it's a bit like buying a new car. I bet you never noticed so many of whatever you drive--until after you'd bought it..
Being faced with fertility issues, I think it's almost instinctual to notice all the pregnant people from you group of close friends, extended friends on ol' Facebook, to strangers on the street. You want to scowl and maybe throw something at them. At least I find I do sometimes. Maybe even run up and kick them (lightly?) in the shins and storm off. As if it's somehow someone else's fault I have difficulty conceiving. I know it's irrational, and for the most part I am genuinely happy for those that are currently pregnant or new parents. I suppose I'm just jealous that I'm not.
I know I shouldn't feel the way I do and that's why I don't say anything (or kick strangers in the shins). I mentioned on a post (on that same PCOS blogger bud's recent post) earlier that at work this week I had said my stomach hurt and I was just really tired, when a co-worker asked how I was. There were three people there and one said 'Oh! You must be pregnant!' the second said 'Yeah! You've been married a while.. you should be pregnant!!' the third agreed. My jaw almost hit the floor. How rude, I thought. But, was it really? I mean.. I would never say anything like that to anyone. Just not knowing their situation, from situations like mine to maybe just not wanting children. I can also safely say that even before I knew I had PCOS, I never said things like that. Maybe my feelings on it have deepened a bit, but even still.. I never pried into personal subjects like that with people, especially people I hardly know. And when I say 'co-workers'.. I mean people I rarely see and/or interact with. Of course I didn't say anything, because I clearly knew they didn't do it maliciously.. but I do wish people would have more sensitivity when talking about things like that. Half of me wanted to be blatantly honest and laugh and say, 'Oh no.. that's nearly impossible. I can't have children without assisted reproduction and an endocrinologist. Besides, I had a miscarriage in December.. so we can't start a cycle until my body recovers from that!' Oy vey. I just wish people would think sometimes, yanno?
On that note.. that's pretty much it around here. I know I've said it a million times, but I'm saying it again: I will be on my second month of BC pills since the MC.. starting Thursday. I will have to get a refill in a couple months, I think. I want to take time off (a) to see WTF is going on with the store, (b) to give my body 'time' to recover from the MC and to really get used to the Metformin (which should reduce my MC rate dramatically: to that of a 'normal' woman), and (c) I want to lose as much weight as I can.. even if I don't need to lose a ton. I can't really gain more than 15 pounds when I get pregnant, and I have not... and I mean NOT been on a low carb 'diet.' At all! And I'm supposed to be watching carbs/sugar. So, I need to get that whole thing on track.. pronto. I would think about 5 months out from here would be the best time to try again. My body would be in sync with my PCOS pills, I could lose 25-30 pounds and really work on a lower carb and sugar lifestyle to safeguard against gestational diabetes. Ugh. No bueno..
Well kiddos.. that's it for now. I hope this post finds all of you happy and healthy. Ciao!
Being faced with fertility issues, I think it's almost instinctual to notice all the pregnant people from you group of close friends, extended friends on ol' Facebook, to strangers on the street. You want to scowl and maybe throw something at them. At least I find I do sometimes. Maybe even run up and kick them (lightly?) in the shins and storm off. As if it's somehow someone else's fault I have difficulty conceiving. I know it's irrational, and for the most part I am genuinely happy for those that are currently pregnant or new parents. I suppose I'm just jealous that I'm not.
I know I shouldn't feel the way I do and that's why I don't say anything (or kick strangers in the shins). I mentioned on a post (on that same PCOS blogger bud's recent post) earlier that at work this week I had said my stomach hurt and I was just really tired, when a co-worker asked how I was. There were three people there and one said 'Oh! You must be pregnant!' the second said 'Yeah! You've been married a while.. you should be pregnant!!' the third agreed. My jaw almost hit the floor. How rude, I thought. But, was it really? I mean.. I would never say anything like that to anyone. Just not knowing their situation, from situations like mine to maybe just not wanting children. I can also safely say that even before I knew I had PCOS, I never said things like that. Maybe my feelings on it have deepened a bit, but even still.. I never pried into personal subjects like that with people, especially people I hardly know. And when I say 'co-workers'.. I mean people I rarely see and/or interact with. Of course I didn't say anything, because I clearly knew they didn't do it maliciously.. but I do wish people would have more sensitivity when talking about things like that. Half of me wanted to be blatantly honest and laugh and say, 'Oh no.. that's nearly impossible. I can't have children without assisted reproduction and an endocrinologist. Besides, I had a miscarriage in December.. so we can't start a cycle until my body recovers from that!' Oy vey. I just wish people would think sometimes, yanno?
On that note.. that's pretty much it around here. I know I've said it a million times, but I'm saying it again: I will be on my second month of BC pills since the MC.. starting Thursday. I will have to get a refill in a couple months, I think. I want to take time off (a) to see WTF is going on with the store, (b) to give my body 'time' to recover from the MC and to really get used to the Metformin (which should reduce my MC rate dramatically: to that of a 'normal' woman), and (c) I want to lose as much weight as I can.. even if I don't need to lose a ton. I can't really gain more than 15 pounds when I get pregnant, and I have not... and I mean NOT been on a low carb 'diet.' At all! And I'm supposed to be watching carbs/sugar. So, I need to get that whole thing on track.. pronto. I would think about 5 months out from here would be the best time to try again. My body would be in sync with my PCOS pills, I could lose 25-30 pounds and really work on a lower carb and sugar lifestyle to safeguard against gestational diabetes. Ugh. No bueno..
Well kiddos.. that's it for now. I hope this post finds all of you happy and healthy. Ciao!
