as if PCOS wasn't quite enough.

Rather than beat around the bush.. I'll get right to the point.  I had a grand mal seizure about two and a half weeks ago.  I'm okay, well.. physically at least as of now.  I don't remember anything about it, just being put in the back of the ambulance and crying when they said 'Do you know what happened?' I could see my mom crying outside the ambulance.  I said shakily, 'no?' They replied simply, 'you had a seizure and we're going to take you to the hospital now.' Oh, perfect. How exciting. Tears just streamed down my face and I wasn't even sure why.  Probably just emotional.  Apparently, I was working on my mom's car (which, I remember) and sitting on a low stool (thank god) and I just started looking up into the sky and smiling.  My mom was inside the car, cleaning it out and asked what I was looking at.  I didn't respond. Then, the partial seizure turned into a full blow convulsion episode.  Like I said, I don't remember anything.  Which, in retrospect is probably for the best I suppose.

Long story a bit shorter, after the hospital I went to see a neurologist.  At the hospital they checked my blood sugar [it was okay], did a catscan [it too, was fine] and checked my blood work in general [WBC count was elevated, typical after a seizure]; EKG fine as well.  The ER Dr put me on Keppra, which I am still on now.

Oh, and he said.. 'oh yeah! No driving.' And discharged me.

A fun fact.  I quit the recovery center job because I was SO over waiting around, about a week before the seizure or so.  It happened on a Saturday at 11:45. I had to be at work EVERY Saturday at noon, I would leave the house at 11:30.  I would have been killed, killed someone or both.  I'm still shaken up about that.  It's not a stretch, either considering when I quit I was scheduled for that Saturday at 12:00.

The neurologist is pleasant enough.  A chubby older man with a jolly disposition.  I went to have an MRI at his request, because MRIs show much, much more in the ways of cancers, lesions, what area of the brain was effected.. that sort of thing.  I always thought catscans were pretty darn accurate and as it turns out, they aren't.  I haven't heard the results of the MRI yet and I'm slightly nervous, but what good is that going to do?  I have an EEG or something like that on the 14th of this month.  I will get the results from the MRI and the EEG on that date.  The EEG is where they stick electrodes on your head and really, really measure your brain waves.  It can also diagnose things even the MRI can't.  So after all this, we will know 100% what's up in there.

Now, I am taking Ultram for my back pain which I requested from my ortho because I didn't want to be on high narcotics like the percocet anymore.  Well, a side effect of the Ultram I noticed after my seizure was: seizures.  More common with ultram than other pain pills.  WTF? I thought it barely had any narcotics in it, at least that was what I was told and why I switched in the first place.  Also, it says: seizure risk is increased in those with metabolic disorders. Now fancy that! Guess what PCOS is? A metabolic disorder. And, no one's caught this? Just me?  I know I am my own advocate for my health and I will undoubtedly look farther into anything than a Dr will for me personally but this crap was in no way difficult to find.  In no way.  Maybe 3-5 minutes of searching.  And, while on the subject of that apparently seizures are common in PCOSers, or at least not uncommon.  As are heart problems? Fantastic.

So, no driving for 3 months.  I'm halfway through that now, so another month and a half.  But, that's only if I'm seizure free for the next couple months.  Apparently, every 3 months (3, 6, and 12ish) you go seizure free the more likely it was a fluke thing, which also isn't uncommon for people between 25-35 years old.  This is also pending they find no reason why I had it upon further inspection of my ol' brain and the MRI results.

Oh, and the Keppra?  It's making me insane.

Hope all is well with you all, Happy Monday? Yeah *&^% today. [purely a side effect of this ****-ass drug Keppra.  I'm severely unmotivated and couldn't care less about anything. I can't wait to get off this crap!!]

But seriously, I do hope you're all doing well.  I will tend to my little corner of the blogosphere more often than I have been.  <3

fertile myrtles everywhere!

This post title was brought on by a fellow PCOS blogger bud's recent post... it's true, too.  Maybe it's a bit like buying a new car.  I bet you never noticed so many of whatever you drive--until after you'd bought it..

 Being faced with fertility issues, I think it's almost instinctual to notice all the pregnant people from you group of close friends, extended friends on ol' Facebook, to strangers on the street.  You want to scowl and maybe throw something at them.  At least I find I do sometimes.  Maybe even run up and kick them (lightly?) in the shins and storm off.  As if it's somehow someone else's fault I have difficulty conceiving.  I know it's irrational, and for the most part I am genuinely happy for those that are currently pregnant or new parents.  I suppose I'm just jealous that I'm not.

I know I shouldn't feel the way I do and that's why I don't say anything (or kick strangers in the shins).  I mentioned on a post (on that same PCOS blogger bud's recent post) earlier that at work this week I had said my stomach hurt and I was just really tired, when a co-worker asked how I was.  There were three people there and one said 'Oh! You must be pregnant!' the second said 'Yeah! You've been married a while.. you should be pregnant!!' the third agreed.  My jaw almost hit the floor. How rude, I thought.  But, was it really? I mean.. I would never say anything like that to anyone. Just not knowing their situation, from situations like mine to maybe just not wanting children.  I can also safely say that even before I knew I had PCOS, I never said things like that.  Maybe my feelings on it have deepened a bit, but even still.. I never pried into personal subjects like that with people, especially people I hardly know. And when I say 'co-workers'.. I mean people I rarely see and/or interact with. Of course I didn't say anything, because I clearly knew they didn't do it maliciously.. but I do wish people would have more sensitivity when talking about things like that.  Half of me wanted to be blatantly honest and laugh and say, 'Oh no.. that's nearly impossible.  I can't have children without assisted reproduction and an endocrinologist.  Besides, I had a miscarriage in December.. so we can't start a cycle until my body recovers from that!' Oy vey.  I just wish people would think sometimes, yanno?

On that note.. that's pretty much it around here.  I know I've said it a million times, but I'm saying it again: I will be on my second month of BC pills since the MC.. starting Thursday.  I will have to get a refill in a couple months, I think.  I want to take time off (a) to see WTF is going on with the store, (b) to give my body 'time' to recover from the MC and to really get used to the Metformin (which should reduce my MC rate dramatically: to that of a 'normal' woman), and (c) I want to lose as much weight as I can.. even if I don't need to lose a ton.  I can't really gain more than 15 pounds when I get pregnant, and I have not... and I mean NOT been on a low carb 'diet.' At all! And I'm supposed to be watching carbs/sugar.  So, I need to get that whole thing on track.. pronto.  I would think about 5 months out from here would be the best time to try again.  My body would be in sync with my PCOS pills, I could lose 25-30 pounds and really work on a lower carb and sugar lifestyle to safeguard against gestational diabetes.  Ugh. No bueno..


Well kiddos.. that's it for now.  I hope this post finds all of you happy and healthy. Ciao!

IUI, Wednesday 11-10-2010

Not much to report on other than having the IUI! Very exciting. There really isn't too much to talk about, which I suppose in these instances is a great thing.  Everything went just like she said it would, she made comments throughout how great everything looked (haha) and how it was the perfect procedure.

Basically, now we are just playing the painfully long, 2 week wait game. That puts us at Thanksgiving to test.  I'm wondering if I should even test on Thanksgiving. I don't want to ruin the day if it's negative, so I might just wait until the next day.  Though at the same time, you know I'd be preoccupied the entire day thinking about the test, so I don't know! What do you think?

My period is unpredictable at best, so that makes things less awesome.  A normal woman would just wait for her period, if it doesn't come then the chances are better (obviously).  Mine may or may not come regardless of being pregnant or not. Either way, it's just two weeks! :)

If my period starts before the two weeks, we'll have the same drill as last time. I'll call on the 2nd day of my period, go in for an ultrasound and talk about using Clomid again or injections and go from there.  If it's positive after the two week waiting period, then I go in for a blood test I believe twice in a weeks period to see if some pregnancy hormone has doubled (like it should in a healthy pregnancy).  Then, some time after that we'll check for a heartbeat at which time I believe I would go off of my Metformin. I'll know more details on all this when the time comes.

Thank you for your positive thoughts, well wishes and prayers.  I believe they just might be working!

The Dreaded HSG

Hysterosalpingogram, fondly referred to as an HSG. 


A little back tracking. I'm not sure that I've mentioned this, but DH [dear husband] and I have decided to try for children. I know I mentioned the idea previously, but months back we actually decided to try 100%. Dr Chen started me on a 10 day course of Provera which is used to initiate a period, in my case, to freshen up my uterus and get it ready for baby. I started my period 6 days ago.  She also started me on Metformin [850mg, 2x daily]. I started birth control [Apri] on the 5th day of my period [yesterday]. I will be on BC pills for 2-3 months, as most women continue to have semi-regular periods for 1-3 months after stopping BC pills while the medication gets out of their system. This is our hope for me. That my body will continue to work somewhat normally after discontinuing the pills. In addition, I will be starting on Clomid, though I'm not sure the time or the dosage. Clomid is used to induce ovulation.  

L-R:Antibiotic, BC pills, Metformin, Prenatals w/DHA for brain function/development for baby

The Metformin is to my understanding, something I will be taking from here on out in general.  It's also been suggested by many medical journals that it helps in early term miscarriage. Well, helps in lowering the chance of them. Dr Chen said after she heard a heartbeat into my pregnancy, that we'd discontinue the Metformin as it's also unclear if the medication causes a higher rate of birth defects. Oh, and did I mention that Clomid raises the chance of multiple births? Maan.. I'm not going to say I don't want twins because I just want my baby(s) to be healthy, but it would be just my luck that I'd be blessed with two little monsters.


On to the HSG. An HSG needs to be preformed within 6 days (the earlier the better) of your last period. Reason being, they want to make sure you aren't pregnant as I suppose it couldn't be good for the fetus. When Dr prescribed the test, I didn't think too much of it--until she explained it to me.  Essentially, they use a speculum to open your vagina, insert a tube through your vagina and into your cervix. Then, they proceed to fill your uterus with contrast material until the contrast flows out your fallopian tubes.  It's used to get a better picture (many x-rays are taken during this procedure) of your uterus and to clear out your tubes. It's been noticed that a woman who has this test (though it is technically used for diagnostic purposes) have better luck with fertility treatments. 


My uncertainty stemmed from the prescription of antibiotics Dr gave me, and the 800mg of Motrin she told me to take an hour before the test. Apparently, you can get strong contractions (much like birth, I'm told), and a good amount of pain from this test. Oh, great. Then, of course I made the mistake of researching other women's testimonies after their HSG tests. The most common statement I read was, and I quote 'I will NEVER have this test again! NEVER!' end quote. Super!


Well, wish me luck, pray for me, keep me in your thoughts--I'll take what I can get, as my test is this Tuesday.