slightly good news?

**man readers, stop here**


I can't be sure, but I think the good ol' miscarriage is happening naturally.  And sooner than suspected, too. I am supposed to go in tomorrow and Wednesday to do the HCG level blood work to make sure my levels are dropping and return to pre-pregnancy levels.  This would mean my body recognized that it was a 'faulty' pregnancy and would take care of it on its own.  So much better than getting the methotrexate injections, IMO.  I'd rather not get injections of chemotherapy drugs, not to mention the fact that one is generally not enough--even though they are at low doses, I'd really rather not have 'em!  My doctor said to call her if I get my period, so I'm going to call in the morning so that I'm sure it's a real period and not just spotting or anything; I'm pretty sure it's heavier than spotting already though.  I know she wanted to put me back on BC pills for another 2-3 months because she didn't want to do another cycle so close to a miscarriage.  I totally agree.  Emotionally and physically, it's definitely better to wait.  I think I'm going to shoot a little closer to our next cycle being in about 6 months or so.  If this whole store purchasing thing goes though (and I REALLY hope it does), even though I could make it work it would be so much less stressful if I wasn't pregnant right off the bat.  Plus, I'm at a somewhat healthy weight currently, but I would really like to work on myself a little bit more so that the pregnancy would be a bit easier on me with all my back problems.

It seems bittersweet to say I'm relieved that this miscarriage is happening.  I'm so, so thankful that it didn't drag on for weeks and weeks as I was warned it might.  And it was still early.  Almost 7 weeks to the day.  The way Sebastian and I look at it, our little guy (yes, we know it will be a boy.. even in the future) was just making a dry run to get warmed up for the real show.  Practice makes perfect!  Let's pray that he only needed one practice round. ;)

On a side note: It's freaking pouring.  And I freaking love the rain.  Yes, yes.. I can say that because I live in Southern CA and it doesn't rain everyday or even heavily every year but it is really nice to listen to.  Also a great excuse to cuddle up on the couch and eat soup for dinner.  Which, we of course did.  Oh! I also trained Sebastian a bit at the store so he can know what to do when/if we buy it.  Dang! I mean, I knew he'd have no problem catching on but he really caught on--and then some! He's even remembering client's names and asking them how they are doing.  I was very impressed.  We're going to make a great team when it comes to working together at the store.  We're already a great team in every other aspect of our relationship! Now I see why he's been moved up so many times at his work, and why it's been so fast, too.  Because he's amazing! And very smart. How lucky am I? I love you honey!!